For the sake of answering all of the questions at one time, I want to write and fill you in on what's happening.  I hope you don't mind being addressed en masse and I hope you aren't too upset if you felt like you should have heard this directly from me.  If so, I'm sorry. 

Those of you who have followed the winding path that Kristen and I have been on in the last 4 years or so know that there have been lots of plans and ideas floating around, lots of intentions, lots of plot twists and unexpected ups and downs.  There were times when we were certain that we were headed in a certain direction only to have doors shut to us.  I tend to take the long view of those things.  I mean I think we will pursue the things we are passionate about -planting a church here in our city, heading back to school, finishing Kristen's children's books, etc.- but we have to pursue them in the right order, at the right time.  It feels almost like we are seeing later days first, like the plan is being revealed backwards.  Like we are Jacob, who sees Rachel right in front of him and knows that she is his, and yet has to wait and watch as years of labor and trial are heaped upon him before he can have her.  And like Jacob we are choosing to view new doors and directions as opportunities to grow and not as burdens -although sometimes we'd rather have comfort and see our plans work according to OUR ideas of what should be.  Yeah, I went to Bible College.

With that said, we are headed in a new (old) direction.  There have been several times since I started college 8 years ago that I have investigated my options for joining the military, even within the last 2 years since leaving my first church job.  It's been on the backburner for a little while, but the time was never right and God always seemed to be doing something else.

Now is the time.  I have decided to go to Officer Candidate School, where I will attempt to make my place as a United States Marine officer.  The next available start date is October 1 of this year, but I may wait until the January 1 class.  I intend to make that decision with the recruiter at the end of July, when I will also sign the papers to make this decision final.

The reasons for this decision are several.  I love my country and I cherish the service history of my family and Kristen's.  Relatives of ours have served with honor in every war this country has fought since its independence, and I am thrilled to continue that tradition.  My own parents were in the Air Force.  My Grandfather served in the Navy in WWII.  Kristen's father served with the Marines in Vietnam and her grandfathers served with the Army in WWII and Korea.  Every time we visit her parents' home I see the original certificate of honorable discharge given to her great x 5 grandfather by Lincoln, after fighting for Pennsylvania in the Union army during the Civil war.

There is a unique espirit de corps in the Marines that draws me to it, and I would be the first in my family.  I am eligible to pursue OCS because I am a college graduate, so upon graduation I would also be the first commissioned officer in my family's history.  In terms of finances, being a Marine officer means that after a 6 year term the Marines will have paid all of our school debt from LBC and grad school.  It also means that in that time our housing will be paid for, we will have full medical, dental, and eye insurance, a stipend for food, and retirement benefits.  If I stay in as a reservist after my 6 years is over, I can retire with full pension at age 45.

Of course, it also means deployment and combat.  Every Marine is a rifleman and every Marine officer capable of leading a platoon of Marines in battle.  The reality is that no president, no matter how grandiose their claims might be, is going to get us out of Iraq or Afghanistan any time soon -and even if they did, there's always a need somewhere, and the Marines are in first.  I recognize that.  I am not afraid. 

As for school, I have a lot of work to do before I can even get in.  This means getting in serious shape (or, as I joked about with someone yesterday completely changing shape), getting dental work done, studying hard, and conditioning so that I can survive OCS.  OCS is the same as boot camp except that it adds a constant evaluation of leadership skills.  If I am one of the 75% of candidates that graduates OCS I will be commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant and sent to The Basic School.  OCS is 10 weeks, and TBS is 6 months.  During that time most likely Kristen will stay in Lancaster and keep our apartment and her job (OCS is in Quantico, VA).  After that I would go to whatever school is necessary for my specialty, which could be anywhere from a couple weeks to 2 years, depending on what I choose to do.  So we are talking a minimum of two years before assignment to a station and deployment.

I feel as though I haven't done much to make my family proud or to provide for its future, having made plenty of bad decisions and wasted more than one great opportunity.  I haven't given my wife an opportunity to be a mom, which is what she really wants to be.  I haven't really done anything but talk.  I'm tired of living week to week and always wondering when the disaster will come that utterly ruins us.  I'm ready to start over. 

I'm also tired of being an underachiever and of relying on other people's grace to squeak by all the time.  It's time to man-up and do what needs to be done.  I'm not punishing myself, and I'm not running away.  This is the next part of our journey, and I am determined -as much as it is in me- to get it right.  Ductus exemplo.  Lead by example.

So that is what’s going on.  The decision is final and we are confident that it is the right one.  Only if some unforeseen medical issue keeps me out will I not go.

The only hard thing about this is leaving what we have come to call home and leaving you, our friends and family.  Our hope is that when my initial term is up we will return to Lancaster and pickup where we left off. 

We are together on this and very excited for what will happen.  I appreciate the encouragement that everyone has been giving and I’ll try and keep you updated as new information becomes available. 

Until then,

Dave

Currently Listening Challengers By The New Pornographers see related

Christmastide. 

Funny how we perceive time to move more quickly one moment than at others.  It doesn't seem like I should be staying up late, hoping that the snow and sleet will prompt a certain office to close.  And is it my imagination, or are there more of those claymation Christmas cartoons this year?  I don't remember there being one called "Akimbo the Blue-Tongued Kwanza Giraffe" before.  It's another subtle move by that clandestine conspiratorial cabal (the one behind various assassinations, arcane treasures, etc.) to make us more tolerant, I guess. 

On the one hand, I could make the tired-and-trite observations about Christmas commercialism, etc. ad infinitum.  I mean, to mark a religious holiday according to your purchasing schedule does seem a little suspect.  On the other hand, I am really thankful to be able to give gifts to people that I love.  I feel like I want to create an awkward scene with every gift I give this year by looking the person in the eye and saying "I AM ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE I CARE AND WANT TO NOT BECAUSE I FEEL SOME TACIT SEASONAL PRESSURE TO CONSUME."  Would that ring of a little self-righteousness, though?  Probably.  The old Dave would have probably done something like that (if you know me, you are probably nodding in affirmation).

It does make me think about redemption, though -and that's a good thing to be thinking about these days.  I mean obviously we are thinking about Jesus, who Is Redemption.  But here I mean redemption in the sense of my role as a redeemer in culture.  It occurs to me that the same God who once set us in motion as caretakers has in Christ set us again in motion as redeemers.  Not in the spiritual sense that we are doing what Jesus did for sin, but in the sense that we who believe and have been reborn are able to live life as Christ followers and infuse all that we do with new life where before there was only the Curse.  Like spiritual ginseng or something.

Back to the point: it's easy to join the cool Christian kid bandwagon and blog about the travesty of Western holiday celebrations, and it's difficult to just be an infuser-redeemer. 

I'm kind of a sucky guy sometimes and not especially obedient and so this will be hard for me.  I will want to either embrace the vapid materialism without much more than token spirituality -or- beat my drum about how terrible everyone else is.  The reality is that we should be recovering the idea(L)s of Christmas like giving gifts and family togetherness and reconnecting them to their root -the celebration of Jesus- rather than tearing them down in a fit of self-righteous hipsterism/homeschoolerism.  Yeah Jesus turned over tables, but that was a means and not an end.  Problem is that I tend to stop and dwell there, you know?

It's not really my inclination to be self-reflective without a hearty smack in the back of the head, so for my part I'm going to pray that God will remind me to be a redeemer, to give and celebrate with a heart of thanks and a mind for Jesus and to use this time as an opportunity to bless others for the right reasons. 

Currently Listening In Our Nature By Jos� Gonz�lez It's Jose Gonzalez see related

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hey jealousy, you took my heart